Dream

So I had a really weird dream last night:

In my dream, I was hanging out with the guy that I have a crush on, and somehow or another, I hinted that I like him. I guess I was flirting with him or something. I don't remember...it was weird. So he asked if there was a chance of us being together which threw me off guard. And then I had to try to tell him that even though I really liked him a lot, I couldn't start a relationship because I don't feel like that's what God wants me to do right now. But I fumbled around a lot and didn't give as good an answer as I should have.

I was really torn apart emotionally because I really like him a lot and my heart wants so desperately to have a relationship right now, but my mind knows that its not the right time so I can't. And it was made worse because (in my dream, not in real life) he liked me back and wanted to pursue a relationship. So here I am, crushing my own emotions and his at the same time because I know against all my desires that it's not the right time.

It was a hard thing to go through, even though it wasn't real and it was only in my dream. But it left me pretty emotionally exhausted and wishing that maybe the story could have turned out a little differently. <3