Trapped

I feel like I'm trapped. Being a college student forces me to be an adult. I'm taking care of my own courses, my own studying, and my own life. I manage what to study when, what to eat when and where, who I hang out with, and how I use my time. I'm forced to make a lot of my own decisions. Some times I make mistakes, but thats part of growing up. I'm loving this.

When I'm at school, I take care of myself, and I feel confident in what I am doing. When I come home, I have to get back into the mode of asking permission to do things. And when Mom reminds me to study, sleep, or do other things, I feel frustrated. I'm taking care of myself at school. Just because I'm at home doesn't mean that I've forgotten how to take care of my priorities.

I feel trapped. I want to make my own decisions. But everytime I want to do anything, Mom doesn't approve. I feel like she gets upset anytime I want to do anything away from home. I feel like she wants me home all the time, and doesn't like it when I stay at school. I feel like I'm sinning when I want to do something other than stay at home.


I'm disappointed. My friends came back from their far away colleges for the weekend, and we're all supposed to be hanging out tonight. But no, I wasn't allowed to go hang out with them. Why can't I make my own decisions of where I want to spend my time?

Mom said that I can hang out with them tomorrow after church, but no one is hanging out after church. Everyone is going home to study. So I can't hang out tomorrow. That's so frustrating! I could have hung out, but I wasn't allowed to. And when I'm allowed to, its too late. This same thing happened before everyone left fo college when we had our "last senior hangout". It's so frustrating. I just wish I wasn't trapped.