This is such a weird feeling. I've never really had friends who were gay, and its not a thing that I think about too much. But it feels so weird when I found out that a guy I'm friends with is gay. Not that I treat him any differently or love him any less, but it's just a weird feeling to know that. I've just never had any gay friends before. I just feel a little awkward.
Just because I believe that God didn't make people gay doesn't mean that I hate people who are gay or that I should treat them any less than I treat other people.
It's just so disconcerting to suddenly find out that a normal guy that you've known is gay. And then to talk about whether he thinks this guy or that guy is cute. I've never had this type of conversation with a guy before. And then he points out my other friend "See that guy over there? Yup, he's gay too. His boyfriend is so and so..." And then we talk about our professor: "Yeah, he's gay. He lives with another guy."
It's a new experience for me. I just feel a little odd.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Garbage
"Garbage in, garbage out"
So much junk flooding my senses. Bombarded from every side. I can't stop this stuff coming in. Does that mean that eventually it will come out of me?
Profanity ringing in my ears. I can't stop other people from cursing. I cringe when I hear it, but now the phrases are repeating themselves in my mind.
Provocative pictures and video etched in my memory. I can't help but see these things, but I wish that I didn't have these images replaying themselves in my mind.
How can I keep my heart pure in the midst of this? "May the words of my mouth, and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to You" The meditations of my heart are so distracted by all this garbage.
The most effective way to keep my mind pure is to stay away from these things. But how do I know what I can handle and what I need to respectfully stay away from? I can humbly ask others not to curse, and I can regretfully decline seeing a movie, but where do I draw the line?
Where is the line between guarding my heart and being legalistic?
""Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything. "
1 Corinthians 6:12
So much junk flooding my senses. Bombarded from every side. I can't stop this stuff coming in. Does that mean that eventually it will come out of me?
Profanity ringing in my ears. I can't stop other people from cursing. I cringe when I hear it, but now the phrases are repeating themselves in my mind.
Provocative pictures and video etched in my memory. I can't help but see these things, but I wish that I didn't have these images replaying themselves in my mind.
How can I keep my heart pure in the midst of this? "May the words of my mouth, and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to You" The meditations of my heart are so distracted by all this garbage.
The most effective way to keep my mind pure is to stay away from these things. But how do I know what I can handle and what I need to respectfully stay away from? I can humbly ask others not to curse, and I can regretfully decline seeing a movie, but where do I draw the line?
Where is the line between guarding my heart and being legalistic?
""Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything. "
1 Corinthians 6:12
Monday, September 22, 2008
Desire
This is not a wrong desire. God made me with this desire, and He intends to fulfil it at the right time and in the right way. God made me with the desire for companionship, intimacy, protection, and love. These are not wrong desires.
What is wrong is when I seek to fulfil these desires in the wrong ways. God is all sufficient, and there is no One that I should desire more than Him. When I abide in my relationship with God, my Creator, I am complete. God is my all in all.
Why can't my heart embrace that? Why do I still look for fulfilment else where? Why does my heart find a sinful human being and exalt him on a pedestal? Why do I insist on decieving myself that one person can satisfy my desires?
Only God deserves to be worshipped. No one else deserves that obsession in my life. May God break down all my idols and place a burning passion in my heart for Him alone.
<3
What is wrong is when I seek to fulfil these desires in the wrong ways. God is all sufficient, and there is no One that I should desire more than Him. When I abide in my relationship with God, my Creator, I am complete. God is my all in all.
Why can't my heart embrace that? Why do I still look for fulfilment else where? Why does my heart find a sinful human being and exalt him on a pedestal? Why do I insist on decieving myself that one person can satisfy my desires?
Only God deserves to be worshipped. No one else deserves that obsession in my life. May God break down all my idols and place a burning passion in my heart for Him alone.
<3
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Lonely
Dear God,
I feel lonely again. I know that I shouldn't feel lonely, but my emotions don't always listen to my head. I don't have any reason to be lonely because I am not alone. I'm living with my family at home, and I have plenty of classmates at school. I even have a few really good friends who I have amazing fellowship with.
Then why do I feel lonely? I'm always studying and doing homework and going to class. I feel like that's my whole life. Which it is, I guess. I know that You put me here for a reason, and Your job for me right now is to study and learn. It's just a bit lonely when I shut myself up to study and hang out with my textbooks.
God, thank You so much for the friends that I do have. Thank You for the few people that I've met who are also serious about studying and who also love You. Please give me the chance to continue these friendships and also help me to be a blessing to everyone that you bring into my life.
Thank You for always loving me. I know that I am never alone because You are always there for me. Thank you for Psalm 139!
Love,
Me
"7Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?
8If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.
9If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;
10Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me. "
Psalm 139
I feel lonely again. I know that I shouldn't feel lonely, but my emotions don't always listen to my head. I don't have any reason to be lonely because I am not alone. I'm living with my family at home, and I have plenty of classmates at school. I even have a few really good friends who I have amazing fellowship with.
Then why do I feel lonely? I'm always studying and doing homework and going to class. I feel like that's my whole life. Which it is, I guess. I know that You put me here for a reason, and Your job for me right now is to study and learn. It's just a bit lonely when I shut myself up to study and hang out with my textbooks.
God, thank You so much for the friends that I do have. Thank You for the few people that I've met who are also serious about studying and who also love You. Please give me the chance to continue these friendships and also help me to be a blessing to everyone that you bring into my life.
Thank You for always loving me. I know that I am never alone because You are always there for me. Thank you for Psalm 139!
Love,
Me
"7Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?
8If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.
9If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;
10Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me. "
Psalm 139
Ivy Orchestra
I'm back in Ivy Orchestra again this year! I'm not sure why Mrs. Booth put me in the first violins because I can't play the music, so I just hid in the back row today and sightread (or at least pretended like I was). I haven't played my violin since May, so I'm really rusty.
I enjoyed rehearsal so much because it's been so long since I've made music with people. I didn't realize how much I love music until I stopped making music. Ever since I graduated high school, I've pretty much stopped music. No more piano or violin lessons, no more A Capella Choir, no more orchestra...
I didn't realize how much I love it all until I lost it all.I miss music. I miss making music with people. I can't join the orchestra at school because I'm not a music major, and I can't join choir because I have a class during that time. So no music at school... =[ But at least I get to play in Ivy Orch. Yay for Ivy!
Now if only I could play the first violin part... I have a lot of practiing to do.
Chemistry
Dear God,
Why is chemistry so hard for me? Why don't I understand it? I pay attention in class, I do the homework, I go to every help session, I go to the professor's office, I ask Dad for help...
and I still don't understand it!
God, why does this have to be so hard? Why can't I understand this? I am so tired of trying so hard. My head hurts from thinking so hard. My eyes hurt from staying up late to work chemistry problems.
I can't do this anymore. I can't do anything by myself. I need you so much. Without you, I'll never pass this course. God, I need your help. I need your rest. I give this burden all up to you. Please take it and do what you will with me.
Love,
Me
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Matthew 11:28-30
Why is chemistry so hard for me? Why don't I understand it? I pay attention in class, I do the homework, I go to every help session, I go to the professor's office, I ask Dad for help...
and I still don't understand it!
God, why does this have to be so hard? Why can't I understand this? I am so tired of trying so hard. My head hurts from thinking so hard. My eyes hurt from staying up late to work chemistry problems.
I can't do this anymore. I can't do anything by myself. I need you so much. Without you, I'll never pass this course. God, I need your help. I need your rest. I give this burden all up to you. Please take it and do what you will with me.
Love,
Me
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Matthew 11:28-30
Friday, September 19, 2008
The Overwhelming
My "Arts in the Cultural Context" class is going to watch the Theatre Department's Production of "The Overwhelming" together on Wednesday, so our assignment for this week is to read the script. The book is on reserve in the arts library, so I checked out the book and snuggled in a cozy corner of the library to read it.
2 hours later I staggered out of the library in a daze. I felt like I had taken a dive into the story and was now washed up, sputtering on the shore. The story is intense. It took me to Rwanda back into the time right before the massive genocide. An American family enters the setting with the idea that they can make a difference. They believe that they have the power to stop injustice and save the innocent people from death. They soon realize that they are powerless to stop the inevitable killing, and their hopes for justice are dashed.
As I walked home alone in the dark, my mind whirled. The anguish of the thousands of helpless innocent people burdened my heart. So many people in pain, yet those who want to help are powerless to save them. People want to make a difference and alleviate the pain, but can one person really make a difference? The characters in "The Overwhelming" thought that they could, but they all failed. None of them were able to save anyone.
My heart hurts for those in pain. I yearn to run to them and help them. But can one person really make a difference? Or will I be forced to watch them, powerless to help them, as they suffer?
Dear God,
I'm overwhelmed. My heart hurts so much for the people in pain. I feel so much for them that I'm hurting too. I feel so alone and helpless. God, please comfort me. I need to feel Your arms around me. You know the pain and loneliness that I'm feeling. I believe that You have everything in the palm of your hand. Nothing can happen unless you lovingly allow it to happen. God, please comfort me and continue to prepare me for the work that you have for me to do someday. Please keep training me and breaking me so that I rely on You and nothing else. I love you.
Love,
Me
2 hours later I staggered out of the library in a daze. I felt like I had taken a dive into the story and was now washed up, sputtering on the shore. The story is intense. It took me to Rwanda back into the time right before the massive genocide. An American family enters the setting with the idea that they can make a difference. They believe that they have the power to stop injustice and save the innocent people from death. They soon realize that they are powerless to stop the inevitable killing, and their hopes for justice are dashed.
As I walked home alone in the dark, my mind whirled. The anguish of the thousands of helpless innocent people burdened my heart. So many people in pain, yet those who want to help are powerless to save them. People want to make a difference and alleviate the pain, but can one person really make a difference? The characters in "The Overwhelming" thought that they could, but they all failed. None of them were able to save anyone.
My heart hurts for those in pain. I yearn to run to them and help them. But can one person really make a difference? Or will I be forced to watch them, powerless to help them, as they suffer?
Dear God,
I'm overwhelmed. My heart hurts so much for the people in pain. I feel so much for them that I'm hurting too. I feel so alone and helpless. God, please comfort me. I need to feel Your arms around me. You know the pain and loneliness that I'm feeling. I believe that You have everything in the palm of your hand. Nothing can happen unless you lovingly allow it to happen. God, please comfort me and continue to prepare me for the work that you have for me to do someday. Please keep training me and breaking me so that I rely on You and nothing else. I love you.
Love,
Me
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Shared Vision
God is always bringing me such lovely unexpected surprises! Our God is an AWESOME God!
I was walking with a random classmate after rock climbing class and talking about pre-med, and then I found out that he is also a believer and also has a passion for overseas medical missions. It was so encouraging for me to find another person with the same vision that I have. I hardly ever meet people who want to be missionaries, let alone medical missionaries.
It's amazing how God orchestrates life so that I "randomly" meet all these encouraging people!
I was walking with a random classmate after rock climbing class and talking about pre-med, and then I found out that he is also a believer and also has a passion for overseas medical missions. It was so encouraging for me to find another person with the same vision that I have. I hardly ever meet people who want to be missionaries, let alone medical missionaries.
It's amazing how God orchestrates life so that I "randomly" meet all these encouraging people!
Thanks
"But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."
Thanks be to GOD for the victory! Praise God for the 93 on my pre-cal test and my 96 on my biology test. Thanks be to GOD because HE gives me the victory!
Therefore, I must stand firm and give myself fully to this work that HE has given me here. My labor is not in vain! My hours of studying are not in vain! My sleep deprivation is not in vain! Thanks be to God, he gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!
AMEN!
Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."
Thanks be to GOD for the victory! Praise God for the 93 on my pre-cal test and my 96 on my biology test. Thanks be to GOD because HE gives me the victory!
Therefore, I must stand firm and give myself fully to this work that HE has given me here. My labor is not in vain! My hours of studying are not in vain! My sleep deprivation is not in vain! Thanks be to God, he gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!
AMEN!
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Lunch
Ate lunch with a friend today. I had just finished chem lab and was wishing that I could meet up wth someone when I bumped into him. We ended up eating lunch together and chatting. I've been wanting to get to know him better, but I hardly ever see him outside of class. He seems like a really cool person to get to know.
He seems shy until you start talking to him, and then he opens up. He seems like a dedicated Christian, but of course, I can't be the one to judge. I can already tell that he studies a lot, and I respect him for that. I wish I was on top of all my classes like he is. He isn't afraid to be alone, and I think he enjoys being by himself. I'm always intrigued by people who are quiet, and this case is no exception. I guess I wonder what is going on inside their minds since they don’t go around telling everyone everything like I do. Usually people who are reserved have profound and deep things to say when they do talk. He seems like a very deep thinker, and I’m sure he is creative because that comes out through his art.
I miss artsy people. I miss making music. I miss singing. I love art. I love expressing my emotions through this beautiful language. Making music always makes me feel better. Catharsis. That’s the word. For me, making music is a catharsism.
When I get home, I am going to play my violin.
He seems shy until you start talking to him, and then he opens up. He seems like a dedicated Christian, but of course, I can't be the one to judge. I can already tell that he studies a lot, and I respect him for that. I wish I was on top of all my classes like he is. He isn't afraid to be alone, and I think he enjoys being by himself. I'm always intrigued by people who are quiet, and this case is no exception. I guess I wonder what is going on inside their minds since they don’t go around telling everyone everything like I do. Usually people who are reserved have profound and deep things to say when they do talk. He seems like a very deep thinker, and I’m sure he is creative because that comes out through his art.
I miss artsy people. I miss making music. I miss singing. I love art. I love expressing my emotions through this beautiful language. Making music always makes me feel better. Catharsis. That’s the word. For me, making music is a catharsism.
When I get home, I am going to play my violin.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Sleep Deprivation
I've gotten about 15 hours of sleep in the past 3 days...
My head hurts, and all I want to do is snuggle in my blankets and sleep. I tried so hard to stay awake today in bio, but it was so hard to keep my eyes open. I never actually fell asleep, but I don't remember anything from the lecture. I tried to take notes, but my brain wasn't awake enough to tell my hands how to write, so my scribbles are undecipherable.
I wish that I could learn without having to worry about grades. I'm staying up late finishing assignments and studying for tests, but when it's time to learn from a lecture, I can't stay awake enough to understand what the professor is talking about.
My head hurts so much. I can't wait to go to sleep. I wish I could just lie in bed and rest. No more stress. ah.
My head hurts, and all I want to do is snuggle in my blankets and sleep. I tried so hard to stay awake today in bio, but it was so hard to keep my eyes open. I never actually fell asleep, but I don't remember anything from the lecture. I tried to take notes, but my brain wasn't awake enough to tell my hands how to write, so my scribbles are undecipherable.
I wish that I could learn without having to worry about grades. I'm staying up late finishing assignments and studying for tests, but when it's time to learn from a lecture, I can't stay awake enough to understand what the professor is talking about.
My head hurts so much. I can't wait to go to sleep. I wish I could just lie in bed and rest. No more stress. ah.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Another Cinderella Story
I just watched "Another Cinderella Story" directed by Damon Santostefano (2008). I really enjoyed the movie, but this one definately fits under the "chick flick" category. I personally love these types of comedy/romance/musicals, but I know a lot of people don't. The choreography of the dancing was amazing, and the cinematography was too. The plot was definately old because it was just another cinderella story, but I enjoyed all the modernized twists.
In my "Arts in their cultural context" class, we just finished reading and discussing Rousseau's "Politics and the Arts". Rousseau makes an argument that theatre is an art that is too powerful and dangerous for the people. He basically argues that theatre is harmful to the community because it stirs up desires and breeds discontent. The whole book is about why theatre is bad and should be banned.
While I don't agree with Rousseau's final conclusion, I have to agree with a few of his points. When you see and experience something good that you don't have, chances are, you will want it. When we apply this arguement to the art of Cinema, we end up with the question: What affect does watching a movie have on a person?
What affect did the "Another Cinderella Story" have on me? I love watching romance stories because I love happy endings when the guy and girl finally get together and live happily ever after. The problem is, seeing these perfect stories makes me wish that I had a "prince charming" who would sweep me off my feet and carry me off into the sunset. Reality check! Those kind of things only happen in stories.
Watching these movies always makes me wish that I had a guy. The hardest part is not that I can't have a guy...it's that I choose not to. I know in my head that God has an amazing guy for me, and that at the right time, God will put us together. And I know that now is not the right time. Although I would love to have a guy who would take care of me and all that romantic stuff, I can't waste my time or give away my heart too early. It's so hard to stay focused when guys express interest in me because even though my head knows what I should do, my heart wants to have a romantic relationship.
When I watch romantic movies, I always end up impatient for my own perfect guy. I'm commited to saving myself for my guy, so I know that I won't go out and get a boyfriend anytime soon. But since I know that chick flicks make me discontent, does that mean that I should not watch them?
In my "Arts in their cultural context" class, we just finished reading and discussing Rousseau's "Politics and the Arts". Rousseau makes an argument that theatre is an art that is too powerful and dangerous for the people. He basically argues that theatre is harmful to the community because it stirs up desires and breeds discontent. The whole book is about why theatre is bad and should be banned.
While I don't agree with Rousseau's final conclusion, I have to agree with a few of his points. When you see and experience something good that you don't have, chances are, you will want it. When we apply this arguement to the art of Cinema, we end up with the question: What affect does watching a movie have on a person?
What affect did the "Another Cinderella Story" have on me? I love watching romance stories because I love happy endings when the guy and girl finally get together and live happily ever after. The problem is, seeing these perfect stories makes me wish that I had a "prince charming" who would sweep me off my feet and carry me off into the sunset. Reality check! Those kind of things only happen in stories.
Watching these movies always makes me wish that I had a guy. The hardest part is not that I can't have a guy...it's that I choose not to. I know in my head that God has an amazing guy for me, and that at the right time, God will put us together. And I know that now is not the right time. Although I would love to have a guy who would take care of me and all that romantic stuff, I can't waste my time or give away my heart too early. It's so hard to stay focused when guys express interest in me because even though my head knows what I should do, my heart wants to have a romantic relationship.
When I watch romantic movies, I always end up impatient for my own perfect guy. I'm commited to saving myself for my guy, so I know that I won't go out and get a boyfriend anytime soon. But since I know that chick flicks make me discontent, does that mean that I should not watch them?
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Quiet Spirit
"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."
1 Peter 3:3-4
I came across this passage in my devotions this morning. A gentle and quiet spirit... Do I have a gentle and quiet spirit?
I'm thinking about Daniel. He has a gentle and quiet spirit, and when you converse with him, you can just feel that he is genuine. A quiet spirit shows depth of thought and meaning. When I chatter a mile a minute, idle words can slip out so easily.
Do I come across to people as too care free? If my spirit is not gentle and quiet, I will seem flippant, and others will feel like I'm not being real.
I need to listen more than I talk, remember people and their names, and become involved in the things that they care about. Basically, I need to put other people first in all relationships and conversations.
A gentle and quiet spirit... This is what I wish to have.
1 Peter 3:3-4
I came across this passage in my devotions this morning. A gentle and quiet spirit... Do I have a gentle and quiet spirit?
I'm thinking about Daniel. He has a gentle and quiet spirit, and when you converse with him, you can just feel that he is genuine. A quiet spirit shows depth of thought and meaning. When I chatter a mile a minute, idle words can slip out so easily.
Do I come across to people as too care free? If my spirit is not gentle and quiet, I will seem flippant, and others will feel like I'm not being real.
I need to listen more than I talk, remember people and their names, and become involved in the things that they care about. Basically, I need to put other people first in all relationships and conversations.
A gentle and quiet spirit... This is what I wish to have.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Dedicate
I dedicate this laptop to God. This laptop doesn't belong to me anymore. This belongs to God. If God continues to allow me to use this, I will praise Him and use this gratefully. If He takes this away, I will still praise Him because this belongs to Him and not to me.
I dedicate my time to God. My time is not my own. My time all belongs to God. I will do my best to listen to and follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit. When God tells me to do something, I will do it. My time belongs to God.
I dedicate my life to God. This life is not my own. My life belongs to God. I surrender all my desires and dreams. Not my will, but Yours be done, Lord. I am no longer the master of my life. YOU sit on my throne.
I dedicate my time to God. My time is not my own. My time all belongs to God. I will do my best to listen to and follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit. When God tells me to do something, I will do it. My time belongs to God.
I dedicate my life to God. This life is not my own. My life belongs to God. I surrender all my desires and dreams. Not my will, but Yours be done, Lord. I am no longer the master of my life. YOU sit on my throne.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Distraction
I am so distracted!
What is going on with me? I've never had any problem with this before, but now I feel like my mind is going crazy. I've made a commitment to myself and God, that I will wait for His best and His timing. I know that now is definately not the time to get involved in a romantic relationship. Why am I all of a sudden noticing every cute guy I meet? That is so annoying. Why does my mind keep bringing nice guys to my attention? There's no use thinking about it, because I know that I won't act on it. I need to think about more important things than the cute guy in my class.
No more thinking about guys...I need to STUDY!
"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."
1 Peter 1:6-7
What is going on with me? I've never had any problem with this before, but now I feel like my mind is going crazy. I've made a commitment to myself and God, that I will wait for His best and His timing. I know that now is definately not the time to get involved in a romantic relationship. Why am I all of a sudden noticing every cute guy I meet? That is so annoying. Why does my mind keep bringing nice guys to my attention? There's no use thinking about it, because I know that I won't act on it. I need to think about more important things than the cute guy in my class.
No more thinking about guys...I need to STUDY!
"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."
1 Peter 1:6-7
Friday, September 5, 2008
Weary
“Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.”
Isaiah 40:28-31
Dear God,
I’m so tired and weary. I’m physically tired, emotionally weary, and mentally drained from these past 2 weeks. Chem and Pre-cal are so hard. Well, I guess they’re not really that hard. It’s just that everything is new concepts, and I don’t understand everything that is going on.
God, I’m so frustrated. I feel like I’m studying so hard, but I can’t understand the material. I study more than other people, but they’re doing better than me in class. I must not be studying in the right way or something. How can Ryan be so last minute and care-free but still make a 95 on the Chem quiz? He barely studied at all. I studied and worked on the equations for so many hours and I got a 70! Why am I not doing well?
I guess I’m used to always doing well in my classes. It’s so frustrating when I’m not making A’s. I’m so used to doing well in everything, but now I’ve found challenges that are bigger than me.
God, I can’t do it anymore. I can’t handle it on my own. I can’t rely on my own strength. I admit that I need Your help. Without You, I’m doomed to fail.
Please help me. You are my only hope. Please give me Your strength.
“Those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.”
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.”
Isaiah 40:28-31
Dear God,
I’m so tired and weary. I’m physically tired, emotionally weary, and mentally drained from these past 2 weeks. Chem and Pre-cal are so hard. Well, I guess they’re not really that hard. It’s just that everything is new concepts, and I don’t understand everything that is going on.
God, I’m so frustrated. I feel like I’m studying so hard, but I can’t understand the material. I study more than other people, but they’re doing better than me in class. I must not be studying in the right way or something. How can Ryan be so last minute and care-free but still make a 95 on the Chem quiz? He barely studied at all. I studied and worked on the equations for so many hours and I got a 70! Why am I not doing well?
I guess I’m used to always doing well in my classes. It’s so frustrating when I’m not making A’s. I’m so used to doing well in everything, but now I’ve found challenges that are bigger than me.
God, I can’t do it anymore. I can’t handle it on my own. I can’t rely on my own strength. I admit that I need Your help. Without You, I’m doomed to fail.
Please help me. You are my only hope. Please give me Your strength.
“Those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.”
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